Does life turn out like you thought it would?
Does life turn out like you thought it would?
You’ve already answered that with a “Nope.” And you’re probably on the negative charge of that thought “Nope, get ready to be disappointed, kids!”
We have dreams that don’t pan out, romances that faltered. Maybe the idealism of our youth has faded, and now the most exciting part of your week was calling Comcast and threatening to cancel, which pushed them into giving you a free month of internet. “I am a mover and shaker.”
We like to ask questions like “What happened to us?”
We feel we’ve failed the younger versions of ourselves.
But hold up.
As we’re looking back at that younger person, maybe they and the world are embossed in a shade of pink. The rose-colored glasses make everything seem dreamy, don’t they. But is it true?
I think back to how my 8th-grade self thought of the future.
I’m crying on a trampoline listening to “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5, realizing the love of my life doesn’t love me back. She was the one. She was the face I thought of when I heard “You and Me” by Lifehouse. Forget that she was the third “one/love of my life” this month. That’s irrelevant. The indisputable fact is that she’s going to Fall Formal with somebody else:
I don’t mind spending every day.
Out on your corner in the pouring rain-awww.
Soon, my feelings will turn from sadness to the “Well, I don’t need you anyways,” and I’ll put on Sum 41, blink-182, or Skynyrd.
Or I’ll let the whims of the shuffle on my iPod Nano take me:
The Darkness. Nope. I don’t believe in a thing called love.
The Calling. Nope. I will most certainly NOT go wherever she will go.
Howie Day. Even the best fall down sometimes— no, no, no. Please stop it.
Metallica. Enter Sandman.
Let’s. Go.
Ooooh. I could go for a run. Yeah! Sure, the football season is over. But next season? When I’m scoring touchdowns against Dobyns-Bennett? She’ll see what she is missing!
Back then, my dream was to play football for the Tennessee Volunteers. Forget that my 40 time was in the 7’s, and I hadn’t started weightlifting yet because we believed it would stunt your growth before 9th grade. I was convinced someday I’d be wearing orange and running through the T before I went on to my wildly successful career as a filmmaker, and win an Oscar or two.
My football career blessedly ended in high school. I’m a filmmaker, but not in Hollywood, nor have I sniffed an Oscar. And I don’t know what happened to the girl, but I’m glad she wasn’t the one. Or the next girl, the next one, or the next. The indisputable fact is that none of them could love me like my wife does.
If any of my 8th-grade dreams came true, I wouldn’t be sitting here at my Wayfair kitchen table next to my wife as she plays Candy Crush as we celebrate that our daughter finally went down for a nap. Watching her sleep, her chubby cheeks pursed as her chest rises and falls. It’s like thinking you know what the meaning of life is.
Soon, my wife will send me to the IGA to get ingredients to make apple cider while she tries to make homemade crunch wraps. We’re carving pumpkins tonight to test out what traditions we want to have with our daughter for when she’s older. Maybe later we will watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Did it turn out like I thought it would?
Nope, it’s much better.
And I called Comcast earlier, threatened to cancel, and they gave me a month of free internet.
Enjoying these stories and want to support my work? Become a paid subscriber today! Everything on the site is free, but any support you can give helps me to keep telling these stories, and spreading a little joy one story at a time.